At one point, I said that my next post would be about adult ADHD… but would I even have severe ADHD if I had not been pulled into a thousand other directions??
Growing up, my parents had a bit of a tradition after Sunday church. Essentially, we would eat a huge meal and then they would go take a nap … YES, they were sleeping (get your mind outta the gutter).
ANYWAYS, after about 20 minutes.. Like clock-work I would stroll in and say in a whiny 8 year old voice… “I’mmmmm boreddddd”
This phrase was so cringy to my mom. Her mind, I imagine, went to underprivileged children in homes wishing they had all the toys that I had. Her answer was ALWAYS the same……
“Read a book or clean the house.”
Then she would go back to sleep.
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About a year ago, I had the privilege of working with a therapist for only about 2 months before we would have to part ways (not due to anything bad, she had a baby). Anyways, I learned SOOO much about myself in those two months and I am forever grateful <3.
In these two months, she said this many times. “Morgan, I am going to stop you right now. This is all very typical of ADHD.”
I would have to stop myself often and ask, “wait really?”
Thoughts become feelings and those become actions. Up until meeting this therapist I had chalked most of my emotional regulation issues up to the following: depression, anxiety, PTSD, being non binary in places where “that ain’t cool” and doing stupid dares as a kid that probably led to minor brain injuries.
The truth that I have now come to accept is that Attention-Deficit /Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a beast and until the present, I was not giving it the respect that it deserves.
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According to smarter people than me, “variations in the brains, children and adults with ADHD also commonly suffer from anxiety, stress, irritability, and personal conflicts.”
Source: https://neurogrow.com/add-vs-adhd-and-the-different-types-of-adhd/
The following factual statement is the heartbeat of this tangent, as I want to apologize for anything hurtful or inconsiderate I have ever done under the ADHD umbrella..
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If you are reading this and have been diagnosed with severe ADHD, I hope you know about the ADHD “superpowers”. My old therapist could explain it better, but essentially one of my powers is that I naturally wake up like Spongebob and think to myself “lets gooooooo”. I am naturally psyched and feel like an NFL player on draft day with this feeling that my dreams could be reached OR dashed, TODAY.
Another super power that I have is hyper focusing on something that I need to do. For example, in high school I assumed that I was stupid. In a one hour English class I could: 1. Flirt with the girl beside me 2. Play “hot” and “cold” with my friend. It was actually pretty fun. I would hide a pencil around the room and then he would have to go find it while the teacher was talking. 3. Go the bathroom 4. Fill up my water bottle 5. Ask the teacher a random question just to make everyone laugh 6. Draw a thousand little tornados on my paper… needless to say I bombed most quizzes, tests and the SATs.
BUT in college, I learned that if I actually sit down by myself and TRY, I am pretty smart. I could start studying for a test at 4am and ace it at 8am. SUPERPOWER!
My last super power is that I have never met a stranger. When I meet someone new for the first time, their energy is so majestic that it fascinates me until I eventually like the person (even if they are the rudest MFer on the planet)… Respect.
Conducting this post behavioral assessment on myself is a little cringe though and it’s definitely not all “superpowers”. The fact of the matter is that when I reflect on myself, I most oftenly exhaust and annoy myself.
“Just sit down and be quiet!” I imagine is what some of the less patient teachers might have thought about me when I was showing of.
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Now, I LIVE for autism/ADHD/behavior research. It is my heart and soul and I will die for the cause on this hill… I will never stop preaching that PARAPROFESSIONALS SHOULD BE PAID A LIVING WAGE …. But I digress….
There are some days that getting 7 three and four year olds with autism and often (teacher diagnosed due to age) severe ADHD to sit at a circle for 15 minutes seems impossible.
On those particular days, I want to scream at the top of my lungs at those little babies (after flipping some tables)
“Just sit down and be quiet!”…. Because from the naked eye, without training, it appears I am dealing with some animalistic behaviors that SOCIETY (not Ms. Tyler) often expect humans not to partake in naturally after a certain age.
** but neither the less I say all this line of work can be overwhelming and overstimulating for any adult, even for someone who loves this job as much as I do…. I beg for education reform to better help these babies and teachers. **
Let’s fully set the scene. As the teacher you know how difficult it is for your students to sit for 15 minutes so you plan the most exciting 15 minutes of their little lives.
You get bubbles, oreos, toys, music. I go as far as doing a personal preference assessment on each child. I can understand what motivates each INDIVIDUAL student to endure uncomfortable conditions. However, even with ALL of these supports I often report signs of panic, distress, anger, sadness in my students… all because… they have to sit.
Why?
To answer this, I must first ask myself the following question: Why do I, Morgan Tyler, feel like a wild animal sometimes? What if my brain is structured and wired differently? What if parts of my brain are wired like a wild animal just trying to survive on planet earth? What if the impulses in my brain are just trying to keep me safe?
My students do not want to sit because signals in their brain are telling them not to sit… as I write this post.. I am dancing while throwing a football to a 6 year old.. This might affect my ability to write a #1 best seller, but it helps me with creative flow and enjoying my life… and I will take that 🙂
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I do not have the luxury of measuring anyones prefrontal cortex or basal ganglia, but I do not feel like I really need to.
Understanding the structure and function of the brain has allowed me to manipulate the understanding of my students and my selves ability to sit in a chair. To this day, I suck at sitting in chairs and other activities that come naturally to others.
- I cannot help that due to my prefrontal cortex that my attention is grabbed in an impulsive manner. My students cannot help it either.
- Basil Ganglia: I cannot help that I short circuit a lot. I feel like my brain is a cd player stuck in the player with only one song playing.
- Limbic and Reticular Systems: I cannot help it if I lack dopamine. I feel restless and like my emotions are energy.
In the next post, I will describe ways that I cope with my ADHD in a world that does not always seem all that hospitable to neurodivergents… or people that differ too much from the societal norms of their geographical region… but just a sneak peak… I would never dare change my students.. I only try to help them… and there is a huge difference! Sitting for 15 minutes is just one of the many exercises that I utilize to help my students and myself practice. Tune in next time for more! Thanks for reading and keep bopping!!!
Boppin about my adult ADHD and this is how I do it!!
Lookin’ in the rear view, swaggin’ goin’ swell
Leavin’ boys behind ‘cause it’s illegal just to kill
Shift gear, automatic, damned if I do
Who’s gonna stop me when I’m coming through?”
Boppinwithaborderline 
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