Someone once told me that living on the Autism Spectrum feels comparable to a person trapped inside another person’s body. When I heard this, I was immediately fascinated. I too often find myself with this particular feeling.
After some research, I was shocked to find how much ADHD and Autism have in common. I am not surprised when doctors will not diagnose my 3 and 4 year old students with ADHD, due to their age. Yes, 3 and 4 year olds seem to have that natural energy that us adults attempt to get in our coffee mugs. However, ADHD is much more than just looking like the Energizer Bunny. ADHD affects the mind in negative ways that can drive a person mad. In previous posts I describe some of those uncomfortable feelings. This post is dedicated to the dark side of ADHD. Yes, it can be my superpower, but it can also be my kryptonite.
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When I was 8 years old, I remember loathing bedtime and I believe that my eight year old brain had good reasons. You see when I would try to fall asleep, my mind was flooded with scary thoughts.
“What if a bad person broke into my window and attacked me?”
“What if they had a gun?”
“I wonder if I could sneak up stairs and watch that TV show that mom does not want me to watch”
“I wonder if I can find dads stash of Little Debbies”
“I wonder how many planets other than earth have water on them?”
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Fast forward to the year 2024 and I am proud to say that if you ask Shelby, it now takes me less than 5 minutes to fall asleep. I hardly ever do this, but I can thank the pharmaceutical industry for this. With this said, I have a lot of patience for one of my students at work that enjoys protesting nap time.
When some of my students start to yawn, one of my students starts laughing hysterically. He gets a look in his eye that I remember all too well. Essentially, he is ready to party.
As I watch the dopamine and other feel good hormones flood his little brain, I notice smiles and happy dances… but if we know anything about parties … well they end. After smiles, I see a frown, and after the frown, I see tears. The hormones in the brain are shutting off too sporadically and too frequently. This emotional rollercoaster is not only detrimental to a person’s mental health, but can cause unsafe conditions, especially in our youngest populations.
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Before my mom passed, she mentioned to another trusted adult in our family that, “she is particularly worried about Morgan.”
My mom worked nights at a State run Psychiatric hospital as a nurse…AKA she was no dummy. She saw how I struggled in school and she was legitimately nervous to leave me in this crazy world.
She had good reasons to be nervous. After she died, I fulfilled my self-prescribed prophecy of giving this world something to worry about. When I was 11 I adopted a new way of life. I decided that:
- Life is short so just do whatever you want
- Life is short so do not care what others think about you
These two principals drove me to seek any and everything that would bring my 11 year old brain pleasure.
Activities that made me laugh and smile, while being driven by those 2 guiding principles:
-talking and laughing with my best friend, while the teacher was trying to teach
-Sneaking out of my parents house through the dog door
-Walking around at night by myself
-Getting expelled from school
-Getting suspended from school
-Ruining my friends birthday party
I struggled with shame regarding this topic for years, but I have forgiven myself for any past mistakes. As one of my many therapist would say, “You were working with the tools you had in your tool box at that time”
To flip the switch, I intend to assist my students in their pursuits of successful social emotional regulation techniques. Everyone is different and copes differently with stressors and grief.
One of my students prefers to dance when she is upset, while another prefers to play with Mr. Potato head. Ms. Tyler prefers to walk her dogs, travel with her fiance, watch and play sports and of course drink coffee to keep up with her little humans!
What do you prefer to do when you feel like the world is not listening to you? Like you are stuck? I encourage you to let it out… just maybe not in the ways that younger Morgan did. Life is too short to be stuck!
Boppinwithaborderline 
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